Jesus Was a Communist!

It’s funny how Christians and many other faiths for that matter are always distorting their religion to fit their own agendas. Christians want money(can’t blame them), so they cut around the edges a little bit to make their faith sound Capitalist. Their constantly doing this! When global warming stories first became a hype, the majority were all for it since it seemed to fit in with their idea of the conditions of things on Earth deteriorating before the end times(which have always been seen around the corner), but when leftists started using global warming against them they immediately switched sides to fit their agenda. It seems economics is more important to them than their faith(which is a good thing)-(though being hypocritical is not).

I will now support my claim that Jesus was Communist with some verses from–what else?–the New Testament.

Mark 10:25                                                                                                                                                                                                                           “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

-The clear implication being that a camel can not enter through the eye of a needle, thus a rich man can not enter the kingdom of God. And please, I’ve heard every lame excuse to this, they suck, don’t waste my time.

Acts 4:32-35                                                                                                                                                                                                                        “32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all 34 that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.”

-“From all according to their ability, to all according to their need” ~ Karl Marx. Jesus’ chosen 12 are doing EXACTLY what the figure-head of Communism demands for his system.

Matthew 22:17&21                                                                                                                                                                                                            “17Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”…                                                                               “21Then he said to them, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

-Hmm..the son of God encouraging theft.

Face it, Jesus was a man of economic oppression( had a thing against rich people, and had a thing FOR redistribution of wealth), as opposed to conservatives, but also a man of social freedom(which I didn’t cover but just a simple reading of NT will show an obvious amount more leniency and tolerance towards everyone except rich people), as opposed to conservatives.

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2 Responses to “Jesus Was a Communist!”

  1. Interesting analysis but don’t you think that it is just possible that Jesus wasn’t actually a “prophet” with socialist ideals, rather that he was a calculating, devious and manipulative man who collected money from his followers to distribute as he pleased, making very sure he didn’t go wanting for anything himself, obviously?

    Don’t we see the same ability to motivate people to donate large amounts of money demonstrated by today’s leaders of religious cults?

  2. That works too, of coarse, that’s also assuming he existed.

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